Alexis. 19. DTX-ATX. "Shoot for the moon, even if you miss you'll land amongst the stars."
can’t wait to be married in a fucked up sort of double housewife situation
nobody makes the money all we do is cook dinner
(via desirethepositive)
waiter: how’s your meal?
shakira: it’s wonderful thanks
shakira’s hips: she hates it
shakira: son of a
partybarackisinthehousetonight:
pro tip: glue a tiny mirror over your drivers license photo so when you hand it to the police they will get confused and arrest themselves instead
i have a degree in criminal justice and i can tell you this works 100% of the time
love women who dont subscribe to modesty like at all… when someone tells them they’re good at something and they like “yeah i am” “i know” that’s so hot
(via narcotic)
